Arthur Pammenter Ph.D.

Improving Relationships

Relationships can readily go astray even when both people are working with strong skills, great backgrounds and intense desire to make things work. For those with less than optimal preparation (most of us, unfortunately), relationships are the greatest challenge we will ever face. Feeling happy on your own, with only your own needs to consider is a milestone. Then, trying to replicate this state of contentment with a partner (after the initial bliss has worn off of course) can sometimes be infuriatingly difficult.

For those of us coming from difficult family backgrounds the task is even greater. Making your relationship function in spite of the imperfect training you received in your family of origin is doubly difficult. Sprinkle in our partner's own personal challenges and the opportunity for misperceptions and misunderstandings is huge.

Combining the wisdom of John Bradshaw with the practicality of John Gray (Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus) seems to work very well. Understanding your personal issues and how they contribute to your perceptions of others allows insight and understanding. Recognizing how people are different with varying needs allows greater accuracy in your attempts to create satisfaction for your partner. Together these strategies create more successful and long lasting relationships.

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Arthur Pammenter Ph.D.
Scripps Ranch: 9815 Carroll Canyon Road, Suite 101, San Diego, CA 92131
Phone: 858 831-0795 Fax: 858 271-6426 Email:

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