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Improving Relationships
Relationships can readily go astray
even when both people are working with strong skills,
great backgrounds and intense desire to make things
work. For those with less than optimal preparation
(most of us, unfortunately), relationships are the
greatest challenge we will ever face. Feeling happy
on your own, with only your own needs to consider
is a milestone. Then, trying to replicate this state
of contentment with a partner (after the initial bliss
has worn off of course) can sometimes be infuriatingly
difficult.
For those of us coming from difficult family backgrounds
the task is even greater. Making your relationship
function in spite of the imperfect training you received
in your family of origin is doubly difficult. Sprinkle
in our partner's own personal challenges and the opportunity
for misperceptions and misunderstandings is huge.
Combining the wisdom of John Bradshaw with the practicality
of John Gray (Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus)
seems to work very well. Understanding your personal
issues and how they contribute to your perceptions
of others allows insight and understanding. Recognizing
how people are different with varying needs allows
greater accuracy in your attempts to create satisfaction
for your partner. Together these strategies create
more successful and long lasting relationships.
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